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(This article appeared in The Express, Wednesday July 21st 1999)
From agony to ecstasy....
The pain of her first labour was transformed into joy when Tania Simmons had her second baby with the help of the Ecstatic Birthing programme. She talks to MELANIE WHITEHOUSE:
 TANIA SIMMONS was distraught to discover last autumn that she was pregnant for the second time. Memories of the birth of her first son, Rajan, six years before, flooded back. "Rajan's birth took 43 hours." says Tania, 36. I had incessant contractions from the Friday until the Sunday, when I went into hospital. I'd been looking forward to the baby, but when labour started, it was terrifying. I was not prepared for the intensity of pain."
Nor was she prepared for disturbing emotions stirred up by the birth and the physical effect of that fear on her body.
"By the Saturday night I was very tired and distressed," recalls Tania. "Then a new midwife came on shift and threw everyone out of the room. She asked me quietly what was going. I said, 'I feel so negative. I can't talk about it.' She said not talking about it was stopping my labour. I blurted out that I didn't know if I was ready to be a mother, that I couldn't imagine how such a huge thing could pass through such a tiny space."
Shortly after, her cervix dilated from one centimetre - "where I'd been for 24 hours" - to seven. "It was my first tangible proof that it was my own fears and thoughts that were tightening my body in terror with every contraction."
Rajan was born the following day, a robust 9lb 7oz. But the trauma of his birth remained in Tania's mind. Searching for help, she went to see American-born Binnie Dansby, 59, and Pat Bennaceur, 45, who practice breathwork, which takes you back through the experience of your own birth. It was developed by Binnie after 20 years' work in breathwork, birth preparation and birth support.
"I first went to Binnie and Pat, who live near me in Brighton, because I heard that HBR was really effective in healing past emotional issues," says Tania. "I'd realised my attitudes to life and my beliefs about my own birth got in the way of Rajan's birth. "I was the third girl in my household and my elder sister didn't want me to be born. I believe I came into the world thinking I'd done it wrong because I wasn't a boy and wasn't wanted by my sister. Pat and Binnie taught me that if you can change the way you think about life, then your life changes. And mine did. It made me feel positive in a way I hadn't before."
Breathwork, either lying on the floor or supported in a tub of water, enables clients to repair and heal damage so that they live happier, more fulfilled lives, claim Dansby and Bennaceur. A session usually lasts two to three hours and centres on a breathing technique used by yogis and mystics for centuries as a way of cleansing the body and liberating the spirit.
Soon after Rajan's birth, Tania and Rajan's father parted. After several years of being single and celibate, she started a course in music therapy at Sussex University and began a relationship with fellow student Matthew Leachman. "The very first time we made love, with a condom, I got pregnant," she says. "I was devastated. I had never wanted to give birth again. But despite everything, my heart was saying, 'This is right, go for it'."
Tania turned to Pat and Binnie's 'Ecstatic Birthing' programme. Like HBR, it works by healing fears and energy blocks surrounding birth and uses similar breathing techniques. Mothers are taught how to harness the powerful energy released during labour so that they come to the birth confident and in control of their bodies; the baby is born, often in water, into a calm, happy environment.
Dansby's interest in childbirth started more than 20 years ago when she worked with Leonard Orr, who developed the breathwork concept. A member of the International Society for Pre and Peri-Natal Psychology and Medicine, Binnie now lectures and teaches throughout the world on birth topics.
"Women go to preparation classes to find out how they can give birth without pain: behind that is the idea that birth must hurt," she says. "If we change that thought, birth can be ecstatic and empowering." It is not just about coping with pain however. "It's about allowing yourself to feel all your feelings, be present with whatever is going on and using the energy to open yourself up rather than shutting down, which is what most women do in labour," she says. "Its also about welcoming your new baby into the world."
Fortnightly, throughout pregnancy, Tania visited Pat, originally Binnie's pupil, for two to three-hour sessions at £40 each. "In breathing sessions I'd lie down, taking continuous deep breaths in and out of my mouth, filling my body with air - with life," says Tania. "As I did that, she'd tell me, 'Your body is safe, it knows exactly what to do'. I used to leave her house strong and high and confident. With every session, I felt I'd gone through a new leap upwards. I felt I could do it." Pat gave Tania affirmations to work with. "I would repeat to myself phrases like 'my body is safe' and 'even though I'm afraid everything is happening perfectly'. Pat kept reminding me that this baby was going to love me as much as I was going to love him. I really felt the baby and I were a joint effort."
Tania's GP was supportive. "He is an acupuncturist and he totally approved - he was great." she says.
On June 8 this year, 6 days before the baby was due, Tania woke, convinced the labour would be that day. It wasn't a good morning: she had set her heart on a water birth and the boiler had broken down. The first midwife she called told her the birth was not imminent and gave her an appointment for a week later. Tania rang Pat, who arrived at 3pm. "Contractions began in earnest and I began to clench myself up and mentally say 'no' to them," says Tania. "Pat was brilliant. She'd say, 'Look at me, take a deep breath and say YES!'. It kept me in that moment. 'Yes' opens your throat, which relaxes the pelvis and opens your cervix and vagina - they're inter-linked."
"It was all very intense but not that painful. I was afraid, but I never let it get in the way of what my body needed to do." At 5pm a midwife arrived from the Royal Sussex County Hospital. "Sally was lovely, she just said 'Let me know when you want to push'. A few contractions later the head was appearing. I shouted, 'Can someone else do this bit please?'. But it was so easy. I was standing on one leg as he was born and I looked down and there he was on the ground in Sally's arms. I felt this incredible surge of 'Wow, it's over, I've done it'."
Labour had lasted just two-and-a-half hours and the midwife said she had never seen such a contented baby as 8lb 4oz Ruben. "He hardly cried at all for the first few days," says Tania, "and he's fed really well."
In more than 100 Ecstatic Births in this country so far, only three have needed medical intervention - compared with Department of Health statistics showing more than a third involve medical intervention, from emergency caesarean sections to forceps, episiotomies, epidurals, foetal monitors and inductions.
Val Taylor, a midwife in Brighton, says: 'Emotional baggage and negative thoughts are a major factor in how a woman will give birth. Breath-work is useful. I also use positive affirmations said out loud."
No one could dispute that a happy pregnancy and birth is more likely to produce a happy baby - and mother. "It really was an ecstatic birth, a hugely life-changing experience," Tania says. "I'd given birth again and done it a totally different way. I felt so safe." |
